If, When, Then, I Would Have___


First, I would like to mention that I AM working on Part 3 of Pretending to Be a Grownup. But today I would like to talk about my current life.

I quit my job as a cook at the retirement home somewhere in the beginning of December 2016.  The job was suffocating me and I needed out and a change of pace.

I decided I would make money through an online transcription company so I would have more time to pursue my dream of being a writer.  For those of you who are unaware of what a transcription job is, the basis of it is listening to audio and then typing what the speakers are saying.

I can describe the experience of this seemingly simple job fairly accurately as what Hell is probably like for people who rely heavily on their auditory ability because of a lack of sight or ability to feel or smell.

If you’re lucky, the recording was done outside with the sounds of wind, cars, lawnmowers, and skateboards brrring, rrrring, and ffllllllpppping over your dialogue.

But even if you’re not faced with the outdoors, you still have to deal with the speakers’ slurring, mumbling, or faster-than-a-car-salesman voices.  The microphone is always too close to one speaker and horrendously far away from another.  So every time a new speaker begins talking, you’re either bringing up the volume and having to back track several seconds to hear what they’re saying, or having your ear drums destroyed with a heavy, screeching Chinese accent.  I wish I could say I was being racist for comedic effect, but unfortunately I’m not.

It’s not a great job, and since I set my own hours, I haven’t actually worked in weeks. I wish I had just taken a month off from the retirement home and then went back to cooking.  That probably would have been wiser.  I’d have a steady job that actually got me out of the house, and when my boyfriend asked how my day was, I’d have more to say.

Life is full of would-of’s and should-of’s.  Maybe that’s why we’re so obsessed with time travel.

  1. Back to the Future (I, II, and III)
  2. The Butterfly Effect
  3. Groundhog Day
  4. Deja Vu
  5. Edge of Tomorrow/Live Die Repeat (or whatever we’re supposed to call this movie)
  6. Midnight in Paris
  7. Any television episode where a character goes back in time and usually at some point kills Hitler

And a hundred zillion other movies and tv shows about or involve time travel are about one concept: changing the time-space-continuum so that life is improved.  Usually the character learns that fixing one problem only creates bigger problems and doesn’t actually fix their own issues.  In other cases, time travel  is recognized as a positive thing that allows a character to improve their lives, their personal character, or even the world.

Regardless of how time travel is viewed, it almost always begins with a scriptwriter who says, “I wish I had known ___, back when ___, so then I would have ___, and everything would be infinitely better,” what a great and original idea for a film.

As for me, “I wish I had known what an unemployed rut I would be in, back when it was somewhere in the beginning of December 2016, so then I would have not quit my job, and everything would be infinitely better.”  But I know that’s not true.  It doesn’t really matter if had I quit my job or not, because either way I would not be doing something worth while that I love and that must be at least a part of why I am in a state of discontentment.


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