Why am I here? Because I’m under some kind of illusion that I can use this blog as a tool to … did I just publish?
Okay. Well if you’re lucky, or weirdly obsessed with my humor already, then you just witnessed the above text being published on accident before I could finish the post.
Why don’t I edit it out and act like nothing happened, you may ask? Because f-ups like this are friggin funny and I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the fun. Especially if you’re reading this drunk or sleep deprived or something of the like or combination of the like. Because I believe in authenticity! Which is why when I update my ‘About’ it will probably still have the old ‘About’ below it.
Let’s start over:
Why am I here? Because I’m under some kind of illusion that I can use this blog as a tool to discipline myself into writing regularly in order to pacify my many fans. Fans like my mom who will follow my work until I die, it doesn’t matter if she dies first, my mother WILL make a point of following my career from beyond the grave. It’s awesome! And creepy! Like Tim Burton(?) I can never decide how I feel about Tim Burton. and like Sam (who has just started following me). And I believe that when I write books, those fans will come flocking to bookstores, online ordering services, and e-readers just to get their mitts on my work and pay actual money for it.
As this blog progresses, you will find:
- flash fiction
- poetry
- short stories…..maybe. We’ll see about that.
- weird stories from work
- weird stories from life
- commentaries on everything
Do I really have faith in my talent?
- Yes-ish.
Do I really believe that I will fix all the bugs on this blog and update my Almost Educated Facebook page which is available on the highlighted words in this sentence?
- Maybe!
Do I think I’ll actually gain a decent following so that you will buy eventually existent crap?
- No!
- I really don’t
- I’m pretty sure I will have a religious following from my parents, my grandpa, my ex’s parents
who are also friends with my parents so really I could lump them into the friends-of-parents category, but I want to beef up my imaginary following SOMEHOW, and other friends of my parents. I don’t really know who is comfortable with having their names online, so I’m just not going to touch that potential discomfort. - But that will basically be it. Sure there will be my friends who occasionally read because something popped up on their newsfeed. But I doubt they will be regulars.
The above is an accurate representation of how much confidence I have in this project.
But probable failure hasn’t stopped me before. And that’s why I have mostly C’s on my George Fox University transcripts which are basically meaningless now that I’ve graduated and have no intention of going to grad school ever.
