This post intended for Week 11
Tanner Wrisley was one of my best friends when I was little. We would play in each other’s yards and catch lizards and bugs. Then, we didn’t really see each other anymore. I don’t remember why. Maybe play date scheduling didn’t work out or he moved to a different part of town. The drift was gradual, I was busy with sports, dance classes, and new friends, so I didn’t really notice he was gone until he was entirely cut from my life.
Years later, we ended up going to the same middle school. He looked exactly the same. He had the same tan skin, slightly grown out, but still buzzed haircut, and a wide smile. Someone called out his name, confirming my suspicions. This was the Tanner from my childhood.
I wanted to run up to him and say, “Hey remember me? We used to be buddies, let’s hang out!” My childhood self would have done it too, but the difference between my childhood self and my preteen self was that my childhood self didn’t know Tanner was handsome.
I had no actual interest in dating Tanner, but his attractiveness put up an automatic barrier between our worlds; and by barrier, I mean every time without fail, I would get really awkward around people I found attractive, whether I wanted to date them or not.
If that wasn’t enough, Tanner was the fasted runner in our grade, and quickly fell in with the more popular crowd. I wasn’t exactly unpopular, but I didn’t fit in with the jocks and ASB crew either. My scene was with the in between kids: too smart to be popular, too popular to be geeks, and too inexperienced to be freaks. These were my people.
If I were to work up the courage to talk to him, I wouldn’t just have to leave my social circle; I would have to exit the zone of my entire social class in order to walk up to him, at the risk of him not remembering me at all, myself looking really stupid, and having to crawl back to my lunch table with my tail between my legs. It wasn’t worth it, so we never spoke.
This is Lauren The Largemouth Bass and I am going to regret posting this, I can almost taste it.