This post intended for Week 5
My navy gym shorts are the most capitalized article of clothing I have ever disliked.
They’re loose enough to be considered baggy, but also slightly form-fitted, like a t-shirt that’s only long enough to hit the space above your hips; or in the short’s case, long enough to hit the space just above your knees.
The drawstring has long since snapped and been pulled out, leaving a small, double stitched outline of a hole.
When I pull the waistband away and let it go, the elastic has clearly lost the majority of its former snap. I suspect the only reason the waistband still jerks back is because it has a distant memory of what its supposed to do.
They were purchased for the purpose of middle school JV basketball practice and to be an extra set of shorts for PE. Seven years, and countless wash cycles later, they serve solely as pajama bottoms. They’re still dark coloring makes them look like new; though as I walk down the hall to start a pot of coffee, they barely hang off my hips, threatening to drop to my ankles with every step, and fulfilling that threat should I decide to jump up and down more than three times.
The pockets sewn into either side comfortably fit a fist and safely hold chapsticks and lucky pennies. Of course, if I think to keep my hands in said pockets, the hem pulls away from my knees and the fabric spreads, effectively creating navy, mesh wings.
Up through now, I’ve yet to rid myself of these unflattering shorts because they served a purpose. Of course after having listed their faults, it is plain to see that they are still in my possession out of pure laziness.