Through out high school, I took at least four classes which, in addition to the target material, we learned how to write a resume and cover letter. At the end of the term we submitted our resumes and letters to our teacher to prove we learned something.
I, however, learned from my parents how to write a resume and sophomore year, I wrote my cover letter based on a hand-out from my English class. After that, year after year, I didn’t bother paying attention in classes during the resume unit. When we were given an hour of time during class to work on them, I unblocked the internet and caught up on Dear Abby, Dear Blank Please Blank, FML, Grouchy Rabbit, and anything else I could waste time on. At the end of the semester I tailored my cover letter to the class; “tailored,” meaning I changed the date; and turned it in. I ended up with an A on the assignment every time, so for me, it was a good system. I didn’t really appreciate the units on resumes and cover letters, mainly because I didn’t see much sense in having them in the class when really all I needed was one day and a hand-out and I was set.
But after taking a look at the mistakes people make on their resumes and letters, I have come to realize why we have classes on them in school: without instruction, people are dumb.
Here are five examples of resume-weirdness:
My favorite is the first on the list where the applicant attached a letter from her mother. Sure, your mother is probably going to be your biggest fan and do everything in her power to build you up; and it’s only right to accept her support, but this is a little extreme. I mean really, what this says to a possible employer is that you need your mommy to help you find a job. If you need a parent to find employment, what else can’t you do for yourself? This is just a painful concept to even think about.
On this list, a candidate said he worked well in the nude. If I was an employer, I’m pretty sure at this point I would stop reading, sanitize my hands, and burn the application and everything it may have touched.
Here, an applicant wrote that he used to spend his summers on the family yacht in the Grand Canyon. First of all, the employer doesn’t care where you spent your summers. Secondly, is there even a body water near the Grand Canyon? I Googled it, and as it turns out, there is. All the same, I would like to refer to my first point: the employer does not care and will probably not hire you because blatant bragging makes you sound like a tool.
“Marital status: Often. Children: Various.” This person is the reason why filling out one’s marital and family status is optional. This is just plain funny, because this is just not something you put on an application. If this person were to fill in this section, they would put whether or not they were married at the time and the number of children they have. The answer they gave simply makes them sound uneducated. This of course, is coming from someone who is “almost educated,” but “almost” is better than “not at all.”
Something most people overlook when creating a resume is their spelling. Here someone wrote at the top of their letter, “Dear Sir or Madman.” This amuses me because it gives the thought that this particular person detests the idea of working for a woman so much, he would rather be under the employment of a clinically insane male.